Sigesige, dont be disappointed. There are many very serious suggestions within this thread:
Ewok substitutes
Cats with bells
Jumpers for goalposts
Electrified gloves
You should consider sending these to FIFA, they will like them very much and reward you with 5 more match-shirts to add to your collection. Then you can easily outdo the referees who will only be wearing 72 taps!
Keep up the nonsense, mate; you are a natural born entertainer. Thistle are priviledged to have your services at our disposal.