denismcquadeno.eleven

The above was posted at about 8am yesterday. It is now 2.15 pm today. Ie it has awaited your seal of approval for one day and six hours! Can I have this posted now Admin? And, can you answer my previous question. When am I to be allowed to post freely on here, without you censoring my content? When does this punishment end? I think the way I have been singled out for this treatment is unfair and a misuse of power. And, I wonder if some other posters would agree with this, if they knew, I had to deal with this?

 MAC, JACQ and GEZ’S XMAS PANTOMIME: “CINDERELLA” (PART TWO) Scene: Cinders has been working her fingers to the bone all day. Now she is called to her ugly (step) sisters’ rooms to help them get ready for the ball. They are both in one room when she arrives, with the wicked stepmother in attendance. SMUM: Ah, Cinderella, what have you been doing? I expected you ten minutes ago! CIN: I’ve just finished cleaning the kitchen oven and lighting the fire downstairs. SMUM: Well, My younger daughter needs you to help her get into her dress. She thinks it’s a bit on the tight side. Go on get on with it, help her! The first ugly sister is just standing waiting for Cinderella to virtually dress her! Cinderella looked at the dress, coloured blue, with red and white polka dots. It was certainly bright and would make her stand out in a crowd, but was it ‘tasteful’-not really! On her head was a huge blue bow and she was wearing black tights with a red circle round each knee! On her over-powdered chalk white face was the brightest red lipstick and a charcoal-coloured beauty spot! From her ears protruded two small red earrings in the shape of hands! Yuk, thought Cinderella! She wouldn’t have worn that lot if she’d been paid! Cinderella helped her on with the ‘ensemble’ which was at least a size too small, and then stood back! She wondered why it said, “32RED-Set Your Own Limits” on the front of the dress. Perhaps it’s her lucky number and colour, thought Cinderella! She certainly IS the absolute limit! But, if 32 is her lucky number, why has she got a huge NO. 55 on the back of her dress?!!! IstUG: (GEZ: under his breathe….I look a right sight! Do I have to say this?) ..Oh Mummy, don’t I look beautiful….the prince will certainly not miss me wearing this outfit! I’m certain to be the belle of the ball! Where’s that mirror you’ve got that tells you who is the fairest of them all? SMUM: That’s a different pantomime dear! 2ndUG: Hold your horses sis, I AM going to be the BELLE of this particular ball! Your going to be something very different. And, I am going to be mixing with real royalty shortly when I get my MBE. I’ll certainly make a bigger impression with the prince than you! Come on Cinderella, help me put on MY outfit! Cinderella went to the bed to pick up her other step sister’s outfit. This was emerald green and white hoops with a splash of yellow on the sleeves and round the neck. This step sister was wearing the longest artificial eyelashes Cinders had ever seen. And along with this was so much black eye liner and mascara, this step sister had a look of a panda! Green lipstick completed the look, with bright red rouge on both cheeks! From her ears hung two green earrings in the shape of shamrocks! (The dress was supersized in the waist to accommodate the bulging waistline of Ruffo!) What a sight, thought Cinderella! And what does “Dafabet” mean? Something to do with the alphabet perhaps, thought Cinderella! 2ndUG: (The things I’m prepared to do, thought Ruffo!) There, what d’ya think mummy, don’t I look a picture…drop dead gorgeous…and totally HOT! I look a dead ‘ringer’ for Saoirse Ronan (top young film star) whereas SHE (pointing to the other ugly sister) looks like a ‘minger’! And, I’d just like to take this opportunity to repeat a couple of things I said previously-“They shares are safe and cannot be sold, so the Thistle fans shouldn’t be worrying their heads about them!” Er…..And, don’t forget to watch The ‘Peter & Ruffo’ show on YouTube……for real probing football insights! 1stUG: Who looks best mummy? You know it’s me…I’ve always been your favourite. Tell her mummy! 2ndUG: I am mummy’s favourite aren’t I mummy…I am the eldest…and I heard mummy singing “It’s A Grand Old Team To Play For” in the bath this morning! IstUG: No she wasn’t ….(aside….under his breathe…I used to PLAY for Celtic you know!)…I know for a fact mummy has a poster of Alfredo Moreles on her wall, signed by the great man! She mingles with ‘the PEE-PEL’! Breaking into song…”Follow…Fol..” Just then the 2nd ugly sister ran at the Ist ugly sister and pulled the bow out of her hair and deliberately smeared her red lipstick. Then a fight broke out and they began knocking ‘seven bell(e)s’ out of each other, with both ‘girls’ ending up rolling about on the floor tearing at each other’s dresses and ripping them in the process. Then both grabbed pillows and a pillow fight developed with feathers flying everywhere and bits of torn dress too flying off and falling to the floor! If there had been VAR-it would have proved BOTH of these characters deserved a red card! But, the ‘ref’ was a bit of a homer! SMUM: Girls, girls girls…stop this…stop this at once! (Then the wicked stepmother pulled out a whistle and blew it sharply! The fighting stopped, the two ugly bedraggled sisters stood up breathing heavily!) SMUM: Girls, girls, you really need to be much more ladylike-what would the prince say? And, look at all the work you’ve given Cinderella to do! It’ll take her hours to sew these dresses back together and make them suitable for the ball! And then Cinderella will have to spend another hour or too cleaning up this room, vacuuming up every feather, re-making the beds and getting it tidy and ship-shape again. You really shouldn’t have behaved like that! I almost feel ashamed of you…but..not quite! Scottish football needs an Old Firm that’s “top of the heap” or at least that’s how the old saying goes. Problems are always caused by a small minority and the vast majority are decent well-behaved fans as you usually are! It was just a temporary loss of control, no need to get upset about it. CIN: Oh stepmum that’s so…not fair…I didn’t do anything…why do I have to do all that extra work? SMUM: But Cinderella, YOUR’E not going to the ball, so you’ve got extra time on your hands and can catch up with your normal chores when we set off for the palace! You need to get that sewing machine out now and remember…if you can’t make a good enough job of those dresses …to my satisfaction…..you’ll have to make two NEW outfits from scratch. I’ve got the extra cloth, so that shouldn’t be a problem! Come on girls, Cinderella’s going to be very, very busy, we’ll get out of her way and not disturb her concentration. And, at that, the two ugly sisters-smirking- and wicked stepmother swept towards the door, with poor Cinderella on her own, crying on the floor! CIN: It’s sooo unfair…I’m so…..unhappy! You’re acting like Willie Collum! I can’t stand the ‘Old Firm’-the gruesome twosome! (And..forgetting to be ‘ladylike’) They’re a couple of monstrous carbuncles on the a*** of Scottish football! …..Boo Hoo Hoo!! SMUM: Don’t cry…Cinderella…it may never happen! In fact, in your case, it will most certainly NEVER happen….the ball that is….ha ha! The closest you’ll ever get to a ball is a kick-about in the street outside! Ha Ha! And….it will either be number 56 for the Gers, or number 53 for the ‘tic this year, but it’s not worth crying about! Suck it up!! Get used to it. It may be only months before George Square is ransacked!!! AUD: BOOOOOOO!….HISSSSSS!……BOOOOOO! ======END OF PART TWO====== CREDITS: CAST: (Includes plenty of typecasting!) JACQ as The Wicked Stepmother GEZ: as First Ugly Sister RUFFO: as Second Ugly Sister MAC: as Buttons BANZ: as Cinderella DOCCO: as Prince Charming TJF THISTLE FAN: as The Fairy Godmother AUDIENCE: TJF members as themselves?

   “MAC, JACQ and GEZ’S XMAS PANTOMIME: “ CINDERELLA “ (Part One) (Includes plenty of typecasting!) Cast: JACQ as The Wicked Stepmother GEZ: as First Ugly Sister RUFFO: as Second Ugly Sister MAC: as Buttons BANZ: as Cinderella DOCCO: as Prince Charming TJF Director: as The Fairy Godmother AUDIENCE: TJF members as themselves? Scene: Cinderella is scrubbing the kitchen floor when Buttons walks in. He giver her a sad look! CIN: Oh Buttons..seeing you has cheered me up. I’ve got this floor to finish. Then I‘ve got those dishes to wash, I’ve got to make all the beds, do all the dusting and vacuum the house and then make the dinner. My jobs are NEVER done! BUT: Don’t talk to me about jobs, mine are never done at Firhill either and then there’s fans clamouring for me to be sacked! It’s a nightmare! It was never like this at Ayr-I was appreciated there! CIN: But, the worst of all is stepmum is refusing to let me go to the Ball! She says, I’ve got too many jobs to do and any way, I’ve got nothing to wear! BUT: I know the feeling..always complaining, never satisfied, finding new jobs for me to do all the time…tell me about it! It’s not the end of the world though. Neil Doncaster going to be there…it’s an SPFL bash with all those boring suits, there’ll be interminable speeches, back slapping self-praise before the dancing starts…a bit like at a PTFC AGM really! CIN: But what am I gonna do, if I can’t go to the ball, I can’t meet Prince Charming and I so want to have a dance with him! BUT: Well don’t get too upset Cinders-have you seen who’s playing him? But, maybe something’ll turn up. I am sure…it’ll all turn out for the best ….like the passing over of the 55% shareholding to the fans. Aaagh. Er yes, change the subject! By the way…have you shaved today…that seven o ‘ clock shadow looks more like twelve o’ clock! It just doesn’t seem in keeping with the part! CIN: Oh you’re so kind Buttons…always with an optimistic word..always wanting to cheer me up..! Even when I’m dropped from the team…you always have time to give me an encouraging word! BUT: Oh I’d do anything for you Cinders…but what’s that…I think I can hear your stepmum coming! SMUM: BUTTONS! What are you doing in here? You’ve got my dog Beattie to walk, My shoes need polishing, my high performance car needs washing AND you’ve got training to take…all the players (apart from two are waiting!) BUT: Oh yes, sorry your ladyship, I’ll just get on to your shoes right away! They’re not made of glass by any chance are they, wouldn’t want them to …er….shatter?! SMUM: Of course not….Butthead…’Jimmy Choo’…..glass indeed…..now go and get on with it NOW! And, as for you, Cinderella, one of my daughters needs her hair washing so…after all your jobs…see …to it..And…Cinderella….just for taking so long and wasting time talking to him…. no you’re NOT…getting your win bonus this week… CIN: Boo hoo…why are you cruel and heartless to me, what have I ever done to you?! SMUM: CRUEL! I’m not being cruel. Now what I put TJF through…THAT was cruel and heartless. But, I’ve resigned! What more do you want. And in case you’re asking…you are NOT having my Jimmy Choos! Now get back to work and stop bubbling you’re making marks on that rug! I can’t stand greeting’! CIN: (collapses in tears) SMUM: Look, if you get all your jobs done in an hour, I’ll give you half a Jammie Dodger…now I can’t say fairer than that! Am I not good to you! Anyway I can’t stand here ‘bandying’ (pun intended!) words with you, I’ve got a coffee date with Gary C…can’t wait! AUD: BOOOOO! HIIISSSS! =====End of Part One=====

Argentina won the 2022 World Cup whilst still losing their very first (group) match 1-2 to Saudi Arabia. Was this the first time a country has won a WC without winning their first match, or whilst losing their first match. Well, NO and NO! In 1966, England drew 1-1 with France in their opening game at Wembley. They (for some apparent reason ?!!) played ALL their WC games at Wembley that year…when they won the trophy! In 1982 Italy drew all three of their group matches but still qualified for the next round, and ended up winning the cup! But, in 2010, Spain LOST their first group match 0-1 to Switzerland, but still qualified and went on to win the cup that year, just as this year Argentina have been victorious (despite being written off by the media) after their first game defeat to a comparative ‘minnow.’ (Saudi Arabia compared to France 1966 and Switzerland 2010 would be seen as the minnow of these three) However, in one respect, Argentina DID follow the usual ‘script.’ Often the team that wins the cup is the one that gets better and better as the competition progresses (starting from a position of mediocrity or good!) and ‘coming to the boil’ at just the right time Ie the final game. In 1982 Brazil seemed the best team at the beginning and started off-in Scotland’s group-very strongly (with Zico a stand-out) but they ran out of steam later and lost to Italy. (They’re often put forward as the best side NOT to win the WC. But Hungary 1954 and Holland 1974/1978also come into that category.) This year, Argentina and France both improved as the tournament went on, but Argentina did it just by a whisker-the difference between success and failure some times! Ie fine margins! The French will be ‘Les miserables’ tonight! (But at least there were were two missed penalties-the two players can console each other!)

At the end of extra time in today’s Argentina 3 v France 3 WC Final, before pens, an England (obviously) fan posted on the BBC site. “Mbappe maybe got a hat-trick but it doesn’t compare to Geoff Hurst’s Final hat trick in 1966, because the French one depended on penalties. “ That would be a good point, except ….Hurst scored a hat trick that ….included a ‘goal’ that many now believe never crossed the goal line-given by a Soviet linesman. Since modern technology from various viewpoints has since failed to prove the ball did actually cross the line, that linesman must at the time have a) had incredible almost superhuman vision or b) he didn’t care for the Germans much-well they did invade his country and cause untold death and carnage 25 years previously or c) he just waved it as a goal because he was basically a ‘homer’! The ‘fourth’ goal was scored as BBC commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme said those immortal words, “Some people are on the pitch, they think it’s all over… (as Hurst ‘scores’..) …it is now…it’s four!” Yet, if spectators encroached on to the field of play, the match should have been stopped, brought back, until the pitch was cleared. Just a couple of points to remember when the ‘Hurst hat trick’ is brought up, but of course, you have to think carefully, in whose company you are or what location you’re in, before mentioning it! And, of course, when are we Scots totally objective, balanced or unbiased when it comes to England’s football successes?!!

Great result, but I see those previously calling for the manager’s resignation or sacking, only recently, are a bit thin on the ground!

I have never attended a match featuring Scotland and France. But, we have two victories v Les Bleus that stick in the memory. First was the 1-0 home win where Gary Caldwell-yes him!-got the winner on 7 October 2006. Second was the away win, again by a single goal where James McFadden was the scorer on 12 September 2007. But, I was at the amazing game on 2 June, with my late dad, on 2 June 1979, where a very young Maradona emerged to twist, turn and bamboozle his way past, through and round groups of Scots players-including Kenny Dalglish and Alan Hansen, who were left chasing air! There is some great footage on YouTube showing the ‘boy’ in action. I also have a signed photo-of Arthur Graham-as one of SIX Scotland players surrounding the little wizard, but not being able to get the ball off him! Great football memory that, even if it was Scotland that suffered that day. You have to in the end, on those very rare occasions, just stand back and marvel (and even enjoy though it’s your own team ‘getting it’) genuine talent/genius in those situations. All the fans present, though passionate Scots supporters recognised that, at that game. Argentina won 3-1 that day, but it could have been more!

Well, obviously there have been some exciting group games eg England v Brazil in 1970, (not forgetting Scotland’s greatest WC final’s match: Scotland 3 v Holland 2 in 1978- but then all your own country’s matches are ‘exciting’ though not always to neutrals!) but many are not and others are too one-sided. Then there was the famous stitch-up match where West Germany played Austria and ‘orchestrated’ a draw so they could both get through! But, undoubtedly, adding 50% more qualifying teams to the total in the finals will dilute the quality of the finals. Also, it will increase the length of what is already a month-long competition. Interesting to recall, that when England won the cup in 1966, there were only 16 teams in the final. In 2026, there will be a 200% increase on that figure! President Infantino said yesterday FIFA were considering continuing with four teams per group, (for 2026) instead of the previously-stated three.

I recall attending a Firhill open day (whilst I was up in Glasgow visiting my mum and dad) where I met Ian McDonald on the pitch, wearing that shirt back then. It’s not a bad strip but it was a generic design produced by the company and supplied to a number of teams. Eg Leeds United wore a version of it during the same season. But I thought, J’naut, you once said on here you only considered buying cotton shirts!

I recall in 1973 when Scotland qualified for the WC Finals 1974, it had been 16 long years since we had previously qualified. Now, it is 24 years since our last WC Finals’ appearance. But, the good news for Scotland (as regards qualification) is that a whopping 48 clubs will qualify for WC Finals 2026! That’s a 50% increase on the 32 clubs which took part this year and should make Scotland’s ‘job’ easier. The ‘bad’ news from a ‘football’ point of view is that a 48-nation competition is going to introduce more group games, (eg the boring non-knockout element is extended and the number of teams with no chance of winning the trophy is increased. The competition becomes even longer from start to completion.) Also, will it improve the quality of football on offer, or is it in fact, more likely to be to the detriment of that aspect. Certainly, FIFA want this change and their reasons have more to do with ‘filthy lucre’ than improving the competition. Of that, there is no doubt. So, no change in FIFA’s priorities then! Hopefully, after two WCs being given to two highly dubious hosts-Russia and Qatar-the reasons being mired in controversy, more thought and wisdom will be shown in selecting countries chosen to accommodate the WCs of the future! But, I’m not counting on it, based on Infantino’s speech before this year’s tournament got under way.

  “IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!” Some days ago. The press release announcing Jacq standing down as Chair of PTFC, joined by all but one member of the board-seven directors in total-has already been issued to the media. (Truly a ‘day’ ‘of the-self inflicted-long knives’! Collective hara-kiri!) In her (soon to be former) office, Jacq is now filling a cardboard box and a bin liner with some of her things. Helping her are Gez and Mac. Mac is doing the vacuuming whilst Gez goes through paper work, sorting out items bound for the shredder. MAC: I think we could do with a new Hoover, this one doesn’t seem all that powerful and good at picking the ‘bits’ off the carpet. GEZ: That’ll be all those ‘Jammie Dodger’ crumbs! JACQ: Thankfully, I won’t have to bother with anything to do with expenses here any more, but I hope I’ll receive a ‘Jammie Dodger’ or two to go with my coffee when I pop in for a chat. MAC: Are you gonna be doin that a lot like…poppin in for chats, Boss? JACQ: Well, I’ll want to keep in touch…this was MY stamping ground. I invested a lot of ME in this place and I like to think I made a big impression here…maybe an indelible one. MAC: Oh aye, you won’t be forgotten, Boss. In fact, you’ll be receiving an Xmas card from me shortly, I wrote all mine last week. Suppose I’ll have to post it on to you now. I was planning just to leave it on your desk! It’s got a snowman on the front, wearing a red/yellow scarf! (Putting aside the vacuum cleaner) Well I think that just about does it. Don’t think I’ve missed any bits out. There’ll be some new directors in this office next week, need to make it nice and clean, spruced up and welcoming for them. JACQ: You know, I never thought it’d come to this. I always thought I’d retire from being Chairman gracefully, at a time of MY choosing, hopefully after Thistle winning a trophy or getting promotion to the Premier League. You know what they say, “Go out on a high, when you’re ahead…leave ‘em wanting more.” It really rankles that I am being pushed out, so to speak! I think I know how Maggie Thatcher felt…tossed aside and betrayed by her own supporters. The ungratefulness of it. I gave my ALL for this club, sweated blood, and yet some fans have short memories. To think that it was only last May that I was in the driving seat, controlling things, making sure the board stayed in tact. Because, it didn’t need fixing, it really didn’t, Gez. Then, just seven months later, we’re ALL of us…..out on our ears-before Xmas! One thing, just one tiny wee thing, over those shares and then there’s been all this! It really is so completely…. UNFAIR!. GEZ: Yes, Boss! (Now checking some drawers) There’s still a few items in here….(rummaging around) ..what’s this? JACQ: Oh that……that’s my personally signed and dedicated, framed Gary Caldwell photograph. Gary gave it to me as a keepsake. I’ve also got a dvd of that wonderful presentation Gary gave to the board that got him the Thistle manager’s job…wonderful piece of work! MAC: Are you still wantin to keep it…or should I put it in the bag for the ‘Help The Aged’ shop? They’re sending a van round later to pick up some stuff. JACQ: Give me THAT! (Snatching it out of Gez’s grasp!) Of course, I am no letting that go. It can go up on my mantelpiece at home…pride of place! It’s a treasured possession, a reminder of a happy time when I was working with a manager I could depend on…one who was on MY wavelength! MAC: WHAT? You mean you can’t depend on ME?! JACQ: I’ve always been able to depend on YOU Mac (under her breathe) …to do exactly the opposite of what I was hoping for! Thankfully I won’t have to worry about that anymore! MAC: Can I see that picture…he looks as if he’s holding the FA cup in his Wigan strip. (Jacq lays it on her desk.) JACQ: Don’t drop it! MAC: (Reading the dedication) “To Jacq….Best Wishes….Sock it too them and may all your problems be ‘wee ones’!” GEZ: (Putting some things from the drawers into the box) Well, that’s it Boss. I’ve checked the wardrobe over there, the drawers, filing cabinets etc… JACQ: And you’re going to make it your PERSONAL responsibility to supervise THAT stuff being shredded?!! (Pointing to a pile of documents.) Don’t want any of that finding it’s way to the ‘Record’ and me appearing on the front page! GEZ: Don’t worry, It’ll all be attended to….now if you’ve got everything…Mac and I’ll help you down to your car with this stuff and then you can be on your way. (Jacq is standing in the middle of the room looking around with a wistful look in her eyes.) JACQ: You know, this has been my office for two terms of being Chairman of this club, it’s like a second home. I’m going to miss that chair and desk and that mirror over there…and those cups of coffee…and the Jammie Dodgers….and Mac takin ‘Beattie‘ (her pet poodle) for walks! MAC: (Under his breathe) Well I won’t miss that last bit! (Normal voice) Er…there’s just one question I’ve always been wantin’ to ask you Boss. Never did. This might be my last chance….Er.. JACQ: WELL! If I could bite before…I certainly can’t now..what is it? MAC: Well, I…hardly dare ask but.. JACQ: Out with it! MAC: Why…er…why …did you insist on being called…chairman…when you were a chair…woman?! JACQ: Lots of reasons MAC…but mainly because…I was always surrounded by…men..like you…and Gez here! GEZ: She wanted to show she was as good as any man that came before her …didn’t you Boss?!! JACQ: Something like that..anyway…..but, I’d say….BETTER! But…..who knows…I’ve twice been chairman of this club…maybe, just maybe, some time, I’ll be back for a third bite of the cherry! Never, say never again! …Things do go …in threes! (And with one last look at the building) ………RIGHT!…….time to go…..’fly the coop’! (And with that, the (latest) former chair(man) of PTFC sweeps down the stairs, followed by Gez and Mac carrying her stuff. She says her farewells to other staff with handshakes, good wishes and hugs. Then it’s out to her car. Gez and Mac pack the stuff in the boot.) GEZ: We’re going to miss you Boss….it’s going to be a lot quieter here without you! Take care…! JACQ: My faithful Gez! Sooo reliable! You were always there for me when I needed your support! Och….I might be back in that boardroom some day. After all, I’ve unfinished business at Firhill…………CU L8TR! (And with that….. she was off.) (Two hours later…back at home and after carefully getting out her things and sorting through them, including searching for a certain ‘valuable’ item, apparently missing, Jacq is back on the phone to Firhill.) JACQ: GEZ, WHERE’S MY FRAMED GARY CALDWELL SIGNED PHOTIE? GEZ: I thought I gave it to you! JACQ: What?… I…………..just a minute….I remember now…I gave it to MAC to look at …where’s he just now? Put him on the phone! GEZ: Well …actually…..he’s outside….he’s just taken out the stuff for the ‘Help The Aged’ van. It arrived ten minutes ago…. JACQ: WHAT??!!! GEZ: ..Just a minute…he’s just here……..MAC!…….The Boss is on the phone………wants to speak to you… MAC: (To GEZ) To me? Does she? What HAVE I done now?! (Speaking into receiver) Boss, great to hear from you…howyadoin? ….Er…..what’s the problem (under his breathe)….. this time? Eh?!!! ========THE VERY END (or is it?!!)=========

Looking forward to a public commitment from the new PTFC board, the PTFC Trust, TJF etc to working towards a genuine democratic model (seen to be working at another football club) of majority community supporter ownership of PTFC. Hope we won’t be waiting too long!

Well, I have more experience in ‘winging it’ really, but I have found myself lost/stuck/adrift in the MIDDLE of a field in the past…if that counts!!!

….it seems there’s a contemporary jazz singer called Gregory Porter (Grammy winner) who always wears a hat. Then, there’s ‘Badly Drawn Boy’ (Where’s he been lately?) who always performed and was never seen without his woolly hat. I myself, often wear a baseball cap in the spring, summer, early autumn, a woolly hat in later autumn, winter and bucket/broad-brimmed hat in the summer. Plus, I have a balaclava myself to wear under my woolly hat or hood on snowy days, so I think we’ve got it ‘covered’ (pun intended!)

I’d like to see Michelle Pfeiffer sitting in a Firhill stand (not choosy which!) wearing a balaclava (don’t tell my wife!) but…if not…I’d accept Elizabeth Banks, Dervla Kirwan, Maxine Peake, Jenny Agutter or Eddie Reader. But, if (sadly) none are available….we’re still spoilt for choice because….