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Festival Best Joke


G13 jag
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  • 3 months later...

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

 

 

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

 

She told the salesman. she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

 

 

'Well,' said the salesman 'I have a very large bullfrog.

 

 

They say it's been trained to ........................ give blow jobs!'

'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.

 

'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.

 

 

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true... No more pressure on her!

 

 

 

That's it so she bought the frog.

 

When she explained the frogs ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off!...

 

 

 

The woman went to bed happy, thinking she would never need perform this less than riveting act again.

 

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making fallacious banging and crashing sounds.

 

She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cook books.

 

'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.

 

The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook... You're gone.'

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  • 1 month later...

The key.

 

 

 

 

 

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a

 

small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned

 

to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

 

Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."

 

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the

 

effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and

 

vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with

 

two problems.

 

"All these years, everything has been working just fine.

 

I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results.

 

But now I've developed two annoying problems:

 

First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get

 

rid of them."

 

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those

 

are your tits."

 

 

 

She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

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  • 2 weeks later...
The key. A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Key." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your tits." She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."
hahahahhahahha
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