joe the driver

Source?

planes, trains, automobiles, longboats, rafts

Just back from 3 weeks in Borneo

Not in yet, using my I-pad somewhere in somewhere and not one fukc is being given. Championees

Stevie, should I just stay in Borneo for you-know-what. I was sitting by the computer at midnight local time getting updates.

Don't get home until late on 6th April, just in time for you-know-what. Can't wait.

On holiday in Brunei, 32degrees at twenty past midnight, know where I would rather be

Happy Man---Seasick Steve

Teacher: Spell Rangers. John: There is no Rangers. Teacher: SPELL RANGERS! John: R a n f .. Teacher: There's no f in Rangers. John : I know i tried to tell you

Dont forget Comic Relief this year. Just £5 can help one disabled African learn to distinguish between his girlfriend and an intruder

Levi Song-----Seasick Steve

Iwas on a supporters bus and we got out of car park at 17-20 ( i wasn't driving) flood lights were off by this time. another 10-15 minutes to get onto main road out of Airdire (i was sleeping by this time)

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.Mick says, "How you doin?" "Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing." Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed... He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you." They say, "Get away wit ya.... prove it."Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?" Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of effin one?"

Love Thang--Seasick Steve

Wanted you more-- Lady Antebellum

Tears--The Beautiful South

Only 3 of them were supporters busses, one was the team bus and the others were for the nearby rugby match

The BBC News channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Saville interfered with them sexually. They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them in the 1970s. The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.

It's all good--Seasick Steve

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London . A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they Haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and Walks to the gate. " McTavish , Scotland ," he says, "Discus" and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over His shoulder. " Waddington-Smith , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks. The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks It under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

The head of the Somali Olympic squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events

Sky Sports would like to apologise to all subscribers for wrongly advertising they could watch Rangers in 3D . They meant in D3

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodaiki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775', he said. 'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' Again, no response except from Little Hodaiki: 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'. 'Excellent!' said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...' Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?' Once again, Hodaiki's was the only hand in the air and he said: 'John F. Kennedy, 1961'. The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Hodaiki isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.' She heard a loud whisper: 'F . . k the Japs,' 'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded. Little Hodaiki put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.' At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke..' The teacher glared around and asks, 'All right! Now who said that!?' Again, Little Hodaiki said, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.' Now furious, another student yelled, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!' Little Hodaiki jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!' Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little *hit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Little Hodaiki frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him, 2004.' The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh *hit, We're screwed!' Little Hodaiki said quietly, ‘Ally McCoist, 2012.'

A friend, work colleague and fellow Thistle fan, Dougie Connor, sadly passed away after a tragic hill-walking accident two weeks ago. He was 48 years old His remains were only just released from Oban Hospital a few days ago. My thoughts and prayers are with his family at this sad time

Old red eyes is back--- Beautiful South