Yesterday on the train going to Glasgow for the match, I'm sitting at a table beside one guy, and there's another guy across from us. At Larbert two girls get on, maybe Italian, clearly backpackers/tourists. One sits in the vacant seat across from me. There are some newspapers lying on the table, and in broken English she asks the guy next to her if they belong to him. His reply, word for word: "Naw hen; aye, wire in."
The girl stared blankly at him for several seconds, desperately trying to figure out what he had said or meant. Then ever so slowly she moved her hand towards the newspaper and picked it up carefully, as if terrified that maybe he was going to bellow out some kind of protest. I wish it could have been caught on camera.
This afternoon, back from Glasgow, waiting for a bus in central Stirling. The town centre is populated by, frankly, all sorts of no-hopers, drunks, jakies, dope-heads, beggars and slappers, some of them in several of those categories at the same time. It was actually like some kind of mad-house. One middle aged guy sitting on a ledge near the bus stop, face all purple and blotchy, clothes filthy, and he's absolutely steaming, begging money from all who pass. Another guy, younger, also steaming, staggers up to him. This second guy has no front top teeth and what lower teeth he has are mostly dark brown or black, and he has various chib marks on his face. It's clear that the two know each other and haven't seen each other for some time. "You're looking well," said the first to the second. I had to turn away to hide the grin on my face when I heard that.