This union is a marriage, we're not the kids, we're the henpecked husband who married a single mother and took her maiden name, who takes our pay packet and gives us a couple of quid beer money while she swans about squandering our hard earned while telling anyone who'll listen what an erse she's married to. Of course that's when she's not starting arguments and picking fights with the neighbours, or showing us up at parties by standing up on tables, getting her t**t,s out and flashing her union jack knickers.
I'm sorry love, we've had some great time's, but i don't love you any more......I want a divorce.