Partick Panther

Get them into Strachan's Squad straight away! They can't do any worse than the lot he's got at the moment!!

Alcohol is allowed at all Aussie sporting events especially at the Rugby, Rugby League and Aussie Rules and Football. You can drink yourself stupid as long as you don't make a right eejit of your self!

The last Thistle v Aberdeen game I attended at Firhill we won 2-1. That wee Njaff Harper scored for the Dons and I lost my False Teeth when we scored the winner. They went straight down to the front of the old Shed. I got them back minus a couple of bits and I've still got them to this day. Geez I need a Beer!

I'm originally from Abronhill in Cumbernauld and now reside in Campbelltown, South West of Sydney Australia. Sydney is in New South Wales so I'm thinking that there might be a few Jags Fans in NSW. There used to be a guy In Ingleburn which is near Campbelltown.

Celtic-1 Partick Thistle-4 ?

Celtic-1 Partick Thistle-4

I was at that game and when Andy Ritchie stepped up to take that free kick I just knew that he was going to provide something special. He had that persona about him.The look on Roughie's face said it all when the ball went in. Apart from that goal the other 3 were totally abysmal efforts.

THE SCOTTISH COW. The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side." The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland? The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland!"

After cutting the grass today, I sat down and had a large cold beer from the fridge....The weather was really quite beautiful, and the cold beer facilitated some deep thinking on various topics in my mind. It made me think about an age old question: ‘Is giving birth tae a wean more painful than getting kicked in the balls?’ Women always maintain that giving birth tae a wean is far more painful than a guy getting kicked in the balls. Well, after a few more beers and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the balls is far more painful than having a wean; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after having a wean, a woman will often say, ‘Y’know, it might be nice to have another wean.’ On the other hand, you’ll never hear a guy say, ‘You know what, I think I would like another kick in the balls.’ Am I right? I rest my case…….. Time for another beer. H....

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then." My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in. I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think. Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt . Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche... Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon. IT’S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY" And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!!! Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka! In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead. Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!! Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut. A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?' Granny replies, f@@k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?! Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watching?' Billy says, ' Wimbledon .' A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.' Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour! An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

Twisted Sister's "WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT" Tina Turner's "NUTBUSH CITY LIMITS"

Do you know Janet then Mate?????????

THE BAPTIST CHURCH DINNER! A group of friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high." He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed." She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison." He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK." So Janet decided to give it a try.. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead." Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.." Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Janet, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped.

An Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish Captain and a Chinese Co-Pilot. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence is indicating a mutual dislike for each other. Once they reach cruising altitude the Captain mutters " I don't like Chinese" "No Rike Chinese? "Why not" The Captain says " You lot bombed Pearl Harbour" No No " Chinese no bomb Peahl Hahbah, that was Japanese not Chinese" Captain says" Japanese, Chinese ,Vietnamese you're all alike. " I no Rike Jews" says the Co-Pilot. "Oh Yeah and why not" asks the Captain. "Jews sink Titanic" says the Co-Pilot. "What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it was an Iceberg" " Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, you're all the Effin same!"

Hi Ho . Hi Ho it's off to work we go. Naw thats not it Oh Aye It's "Hi Ho Silver Lining!"

Hey Mighty Quinn! Why don't you just Sit back and relax mate. It's another chance for our wee country of just over 5million people to get a crack at the Over Exaggerated and Naucious English Media and England's over rated players. If you've never been to Wembalee then you should at least get there once. I was there in 1981 when we won 1-0 thanks to a Steve Archibald penalty. The entire weekend was absolutely briliant and I've never forgotten it. Went down in a party of 14 Thistle fans from Cumbernauld. The Sunday lunch time drink was in a Spurs Fans local and their fans were great with us due to the Steve Archibald connection ( He Played for Spurs) So as the younger generation would say mate "Chill Out"

The Village Peoples' YMCA is a beauty. Also Status Quo's Caroline!!

Cheers mate, I'll check it out!

Just checked with Setanta and they now want $20.00 per month for their sports channel plus a sign on fee of another $20.00. Also checked their SPL Live games and Thistle get 2 only. Dundee Utd live at 5.00am our time on Sat morning and then the Hearts game on the 17th and that's it. The usual Auld Firm Shyte get all the air space as usual so I won't be taking them up on their offer.

MONNNNNNNNAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEESELLLLLLL!

The Standard of the Game this Season in the SPL looks to be in dire straits as far as Hibs are concerned. Hearts Fans must be loving that result. To get Gubbed 7-0 at home is an absolute disgrace no matter what League your team is in but to lose by that amount and you're in the SPL ! Let's hope that Thistle can inflict a bit of damage to Hibs when their time comes to play them. I'll always remember when Bertie went away to check on a player and we were playing Hibs on the Wednesday Night. Apparently Bertie told the players to just go out and enjoy themselves and they won 6-1. It was a privilege to be at that game and watch Melrose ran Riot! Oh The Memories!

I didn't see the game as I couldn't find my Bliddy Aerial CableI didn't see the game last night as I couldn't get Channel "7 Mate" so I can't comment on the match which Liverpool won 2-0 in front of 95,000 fans who gave a lifting rendition of "You'll never walk alone" That would've been great to see and hear!

Last Saturday night 84,000 packed into the Olympic Stadium in Sydney to watch the A-League Allstars v Man Utd game which Man Utd won 5-1.Great stuff by UTD. They even managed to get just under 22,000 to the Man Utd training session on the Friday Night. Tonight we have Liverpool v Melbourne Victory at the Melbourne Cricket Ground and more than 90,000 tickets have been sold. They even managed to get more than 24 thousand at the Liverpool training session last night. Sydney managed to take in more than $16 million in trade over the week that Utd were in town. The draw of man Utd was really evident outside the stadium where there were dozens of Caravans selling Man Utd merchandise. When Liverpool arrived in Melbourne the players were mobbed by hundreds of Liverpool Fans. They too will have dozens of Caravans selling their merchandise tonight. The Aussie F.A are now talking about having a tournament next year with maybe Real Madrid or Barcelona as well as possibly Man Utd, Liverpool or Chelsea being involved. Such is the pulling power of these teams that Australia and in particular Sydney and Melbourne can't lose financially. I'd love to see the same pulling power if Rangers or Celtic came over but I definitely doubt they'd have the same attraction. So well done to Utd and Liverpool for coming over here and putting on a great show for all Football fans in Australia who can only watch the EPL if they have Pay T.V.

Lightweights on the Bevvy! Do you mean the beer was weak or were the drinkers weak, cos the Aussies here in Sydney can drink mate ! You are right about some of the Aussies being Hit & Miss though as it took me nearly a year to befriend my next door neighbour but once the barrier was broken we ended up best of mates. The Aussies tend to be stand o9ffish at first as you have to become one of them or else you are an outsider!

Without a single doubt ,it has to be Australia. Why else would myself and the other Ex-Pats live here for so long. We have beautiful Beaches and holiday resorts all around the 40,000km,s of coastline. We have more sunny days than wet, miserable damp ones. We have beautiful women , good beer and wine. We have good sporting facilities where we can play a variety outdoors and without fear of getting washed out. To Cap it all off we have a Football Team that has Qualified for the World Cup.