Richard Nixon

Look up any of Dick Campbell's teams and that's you, really. Although strangely, Murder McLeod has to be in charge to make it truly the worst. That's the second time I've mentioned him today, which is two times too many.

What was the deal with the Honeymonster anyway? Was it just Murder McLeod doing his beloved Celts a favour by taking him off their books?

I see those amateurs over on the East End have managed to announce an alternative kit to their regular green and white ... green with white pinstripe. Celtic Launch A New Strip With A Historical Touch ... Meanwhile, where's our "belter" of a new shirt? The Summer's almost over!

If we're going into fantasy land, we should go back in time twenty years, sell off Firhill to Asda or Tesco, buy up a whole bunch of that unwanted land down by the Clyde waterfront, build a new stadium near our spiritual home of Meadowside ... so now, in 2015, with the rebuilding and regeneration of that whole area that's proceeding apace, we can sell off the surplus land for megabucks and have a whole new local fanbase to attract!

Well, all standing is safe, so long as the stadiums are built for purpose and stewarded correctly.

"Nine of the 12 Premiership teams were among the 27 of the country's 42 senior clubs who said they would be in favour of examining the possibility." What's the vote ratio necessary to get changes made in the Premiership again? Oh yeah. Thanks Stewart Gilmour! "Only seven clubs said such a move would not interest them, with eight not offering a view. One unnamed Premiership club was opposed to changing the calendar, while two did not reply." Not being able to make up our minds sounds like a Thistle-ish position to me.

lol!

As the years go by, the decision to completely demolish the old terracing to leave a grass-strewn eyesore looks more and and more inspirational.

Why would you not get the front of the shirt signed?

What's the point of watching the rest of this Champions League final? Now that Barcelona have scored might as well just turn it off. And why do they all have such stupid haircuts?

Well, thanks for the input.

What's written on the thigh there? JAGS POWER?

I don't think more people actually travel from Dunfermline or Paisley to Ibrox and Celtic Park than go to see their home town teams. Maybe they do. Who knows the figures of such a thing? It would be interesting if there was a survey of where exactly all the fans actually travel from. I think it's more accurate to say people outside Glasgow buy the shirts and watch the Old Firm on TV rather than go to their local games; and in that case the Big Four English teams can be added as well as the two Spanish clubs. I mean, you'll see more kids wearing Barcelona shirts in Glasgow than Thistle shirts. Do these people ever attend football matches though, and will anything tempt them away from their tellies?

We do particularly poorly in comparison to other clubs. Is this because of the longstanding interpretation that Thistle are terrible, the cuddly toy of Scottish football? "Partick Thistle Nil" and all that? Or just because you have to be truly weird in Glasgow not to choose Proddie or Catholic, Blue or Green? Dunfermline's population in 2011 was 49,706, and they announced season tickets sales of 1452 as of 31st May, or 2.93% of the city. That seems not bad for a third tier club. In Saint Mirren's case, Paisley's population was 74130, and their just announced current season ticket sales are at 2050, a percentage of 2.76%. That's for a club just relegated and playing in the second tier next season. The 2011 population of Glasgow was 598,830. But let's reduce our catchment area to the North-West of the city only, that still gives us a population of 197,375. Of course the club don't tell us how many season tickets we sell, but let's be generous and say it's 2000 - that's a percentage of 1% of the available population. I guess only a period of consistent success - high finishes up the league, a good few cup wins or at least appearances in finals - would do something to alleviate what is really a terrible lack of local interest compared to other clubs.

Well, one side has Qatar. The richest country on the planet basically working slave labourers to death to build stadiums that will lie empty and unused after their World Cup ends. Oh yes, it's also a dictatorship where homosexuality is illegal and flogging and stoning is permitted under Sharia law. I can't really imagine being on the same side as them, no matter how bad Rupert Murdoch is. Of course, the Scottish national team is playing Qatar on Friday, but apparently there's no problem for the SFA, and they'll be happy to travel there in 2022 if we qualify. I'm not entirely convinced that human rights abuses can be forgotten in the name of football, but that's just me. Meanwhile, I'm sure Old Man Blatter will be staying in countries which do not have extradition treaties with the United States for the remainder of his life.

I wonder which new rancid, corrupt charlatan will replace the old rancid, corrupt charlatan at the head of this rancid, corrupt organisation? It's way past time just to walk away and start again - but think of all that money! Too many people have been bribed to do such a thing!

Well, I think celebrating with a lap of honour in this instance is pretty embarrassing, but each to their own. However, I was taking it all together - A pitch invasion to goad the Rangers fans, two of their players getting red-carded in a brawl instigated by one of their own, along with this grown adult - I think those relegation-avoiding, vote-rigging, "Twist-And-Shout" singing tossers should all get to f*ck. If there's any justice at all they'll finish rock-bottom next year.

Why's your tongue up Motherwell's erse? The entire event ended in farce and everyone should be embarrassed.

They're going to do a lap of honour! The cheek!

If we'd finished eleventh this place would have exploded in rage months ago, and we'd be embarrassed to be singing and partying no matter who'd we just beaten. I'll take us beating Rangers in one of the cups next season please - and not have our fans embarrass us by slapping their players with brollies ...

F*ck the Motherwell fans. Rangers players throwing punches at the final whistle showing the class of their club. Motherwell fans having to be ushered off the pitch by mounted police shows the class of theirs. I'd be staying clear of Glasgow City Centre tonight.

Aw, there's Chic! I've never heard anyone so upset on the radio before. It sounds like he's been greeting. The poor wee sowel.

The play-offs finally work the way they're designed to. Where's Chic Young? Has he left early too?

The Athletic Bilbao defenders strangely reminiscent of ours for the third goal when we got pumped by Ross County ...

What price Partick Thistle in a Scottish Cup final in the next squillion years?