The Sons of Somner

Joe Longthorn

Whits the script?

Wishing you a long, happy and healthy retirement, you old Trot.

Hugh Bonkle from Dallas

It was probably the fact that he was immobile that gave it away.

Yes, indeed you can Sir. On a daily basis you will hear me saying "that's me away to the cupboard to get the machine that does the vacuum cleaning". For the avoidance of doubt, my machine of choice is a Dyson DC41 Mk2 which "cleans better than any other vacuum on the market today across carpets and hard floors." <<< sits back, puts feet on the table, and lights up a large Cuban cigar >>>

How many times? It's not a Tannoy. Well, yes it may be, but the proper term to use is 'public address address' system. Tannoy is a brand name. Regards, Alan Partridge

Somner is God (obviously)

Have they emailed the students association at GCU, Glasgow, Strathclyde and West of Scotland? Excellent idea but they need to contact the associations to get a great response. I'm happy to pass the info to GCU student association tomorrow if they haven't already been contacted.

Lol....over 50 by any chance?

Yeah, he'll be one of the first of the charlatans up against the wall come the revolution....

No idea who the Jag is? Good, sums up the majority of that decade nicely. I love this thread, love it, but the occasional flashbacks to the 80's really do bring back lots of bad memories. The horrible empty stadium, plain yellow tops, Mortons Rolls, Joe Carson at centre forward, sumo Johnstone. Where's my tablets? NURSE!!!

I'm guessing Xmas 1979. We had just beaten Aberdeen 1-0, Somner header in opening 10 mins (blessed be His name) in front of a 10,000+ crowd to go top of the league. Houston skins the left back, crosses for Somner to bullet a header past a stationary keeper. So familiar. Bertie had been in the papers in the lead up to the game suggesting that if 10,000 Jags couldn't turn up for a top of the table clash which could possibly put us top, then we didn't deserve the team that we had. He was right. And it was 10,000 Jags fans, very few sheep. A different era indeed :-(

Impecunious will belong to scoff at you very soon. Light bulbs? Needing replaced? Do you know how much they cost, laddie?

Ahh, 'Now You See It, Now You Don't' "Three down, two across Johnny. Old firm cnuts"

"Plenty of wallopers". Wallopers. LOL, what a great word, one of my favourite words that you rarely see in print. As is 'fud'. There, I said it. Fud. Don't see that in print much either. I love hearing and seeing it in use, in all of its guises. ETA...I've not had the pleasure of visiting the Monkey this season but if, like this forum, it's got it's mix of wallopers and fuds, then I'll be back very soon. Good day to you, Sir.

I find it hard to masturbate to that to be honest.

It wasn't so long ago that some folk on this forum were wanting the club to become more professional, to stop using volunteers behind the scenes and to employ more full time staff. I'd suggest that three more full timers may be in line with a top flight club. ETA: Honestly, at times this forum is like a living version of Animal Farm.

He'll only argue that Quorn was invented by Thatcher

I'm pretty sure that's what called an oxymoron, Mr Skwerr. Anyway, homemade burger this evening with a sprinkling of chips. Lovely.

Is that a euphemism?

Never had a proper dinner this evening...after this afternoons team meeting, the boss at work took us all out to Valerie's for a coffee and a big slice of cake of our choosing. My choice was a slice of Lemon Cheesecake and a cappuccino. That was at 3pm, getting a bit hungry now though.. Slice of buttered toast in 30 minutes I think.

I've had a beef with our throw ins for a long time now. Why do we always seem to throw the ball to a teammate at bollock height? Same category as corners and free kicks that don't go past the first defender. Infuriating. Do these things really need to be covered in training by grown men?

The original Honey Monster...George Mackie!

The Sons of Somner (Lanark Chapter) will also donate a tenner.