Man goes to a house to buy a dog, and asks the owner the price.
£3000 says the man.
Thats expensive for a dog.
Yes, but it can talk, ask it a question.
OK says the man, What's your name?
Spot, says the dog.
And you can really speak, says the man.
Yes says the dog, English, German, and some Spanish
Thats amazing says the man, tell me more about yourself.
Well says the dog, when I went for my inocculations as a puppy, the vet discovered
I could speak, so he gave me a job as a receptionist in his practice, but after a few months, I got bored, joined
the Army and went to Iraq and Afghanistan. But I was doing security patrols, sniffing out IEDs and it got a bit dangerous
so I came home, got a job as head of security in a wing of Belmarsh High Security Prison. The food was terrible, so I left and have spent the last 2 years at a farm in Aberdeenshire, where I looked after 200 head of cattle, 300 ewes and 150 breeding sows. But it was really hard work,
and so I have decided to retire.
Thats astonishing, said the man, why on earth do you want to sell a dog that can speak 3 languages, and who has done all these
amazing things?
He tells lies, says the owner