The Future Is Unwritten

If it's an Arthur "Thompson" model DVD player you've got then the flashing lights are likely to be a re-recording of the polis coming round the Pondersoa. Either way hee's deed and it sounds like you're DVD is as well.

Duly noted people, but when I'm out and about working I keep my eye on more results than just the main one. Anyway I got Flash Scores on a freebie for 24 months so can't really complain too much. Pity they got the Wigan score correct and didn't ammend it at the end.

As I was out in Govan yesterday selling the old Sky (yep, someone's got to do it) and telling every "fan" of the old/new firm that we are the only club in the entire GB with a 100% league record I got told I was a "glory hunter". Oh, how time's change. Anyway as I told a h*n, we've won the League Cup when it was worth winning so we thought we'd let the wee teams have a chance and it's been a while since the last Scottish Cup, this year we might just be on the treble. His chances of a treble I'm afraid were with the horses - his missus told me later on that even the horses aren't doing winning away for him! Here's to the Jags Army "dancing on the streets of Raith" come Saturday evening!

Couldn't make the game today but keep up with the scores via Flash Scores. They had me nearly keechin ma panties when it came up with Thistle 0 Cowdenbeath 1 - penalty in 25 mins. Just had correction at half time that it was the Jags that scored but it doen't say who the scorer was. Can anyone tell me?

My dad took me along to Firhill since I was a babe in arms 66/67 season mainly because if he didn't then he wasn't allowed to go. I grew up on a diet of spearmint chewing gum and macaroon bars before my first taste of a pie. Was at Hampden for the League Cup final against the tims - still have a scar on the back of my napper from falling off my uncle's shoulders at the 3rd goal (ach you'll be fine, here have some sweeties). I remember THAT party, it went on for days and I don't think I've ever had such a tiredness headache ever since. My dad was a friend of Brian (moustache) Whittaker and we got a tour round the stadium (and I gave Bertie Auld a big cigar) before the game v Morton when we got horsed 4-0 with the fattie Andy Ritchie scoring at least 2 sometime in the late 70's/early 80's. Still remember Brian's face when we took the Hearts 1-0 at Tynecastle in the Cup the year he moved there - a picture indeeed! One of my enduring memories is the marathon Cup games against Clyde at Shawfield (replay I think) when the match was abandonded because the gypos couldnae keep the lights on, a riot on the terraces and then when it was eventually played we battered them 7-1?(0) with Super Mo scoring like he used to do up the dancin' - plenty of 'em and all pretty cheap! Happy days.

Now that's what I call Irn'y!

It'd be £16.90 at Ibrox and the Bru would've been a brighter shade of orange!

The Ratistas. www.ratistas.co.uk

The best (and I hope unintentional) para olympics joke I overhead was a Channel 4 advert about the end of the torch relay coming into London the other day was, "Catch the last leg live here on Channel 4". Cosgrove you're comedy gold, same as yer team!

I recall in our up in a canter two seasons in a row to the SPL time being at Falkirk away my wee girl and her pals singing to the tune of The Blaydon Races something like, "We've only come to shag your boys and drink Bicardi Breezers, cos we're the Thistle ladies" and they got a huge cheer.

Ooops, meant Friday 7th Sept

What about car drivers that seem to think us pedestrians possess psychic powers of deduction of their corner making decisions when executing said actions without using indicators? Throw a pavement cyclist at 'em? Or a wee kick to the side door? Always seems to get worse when it's pishing down.

Will try my best to get along, was at Sleazy's recently and it was a fiver. Six quid sounds fair if there really is free pizza. Skatrain you might wanna check out The Ratistas at The Roxy (the old Liquid Ship) on Grrreat Western Road on Friday 9th Sept - free entry. You never know, could be the next Glasgow punk/ska band to get all us old yins groovin.

Kevin Energy It was always In your (appropriate shitty city/poor toon) slums You look through the dustbins for something to eat You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat In your Dundee (for example) slums The Clyde was a shortlived sideline in the groundshare Gypsy era. I always loved this one when over zealous policing happened. (To the tune of Land of Hope and Glory....) We hate Dixon of Dock Green We hate Z Cars too We hate Softly Softly Oh Polis, we hate you

It's a ploy to get you to ugrade to TIVO service and force a new minumum 12 month (unsigned, unwritten, unspoken, but THEY say legal) contract with penalty clauses for leaving. Get out the pickle that Branson has you in, switch to Sky, a UK call centre employer and with a benevolent leader too. (That last bit I got through a bit of phone hacking).

Having had the misfortune to work at Celtic Park in both pre-durin(ming) and post match "hospitality" the moneyed/gangster ******** always get away with swilling like pigs at a trough all afternoonand are always pissed oot their nut. You think Rodders and "The Big Man£" oops deliberate typo are sober? I HAD to (no chance of polite refusal on this one folks, had to take the murderer Michael Stone's abuse for over two hours before a game along with his "mates" or face the sack with no wages). I wouldn't want those two monsters (the OF) to be allowed a KiOra unless laced with arsenic beforehand. Don't ask, the shit you had to put up with (especially as a woman) at "the other end" was no better. "What do the animals say? No better than you pal! - Sacked on the spot for having "No respect to paying guests". FTOF and all their **** hangers on! Filled up at Firhill sounds like a great idea if only they'd get a decent lager in! Stella from Nina in The Strathmore still sounds alwright to me! Any advice on how to upload a photo as an avatar would be appreciated, I'm a computer illiterate (but sometimes with spell check) would be appreciated, Ian at PTFC doesn't have a clue and Ami's off doing her shopping. Should that no be Jackie? Jan sales loming big man, just please, please, Big Marvin Andrews a the Kirky Rob Roy, will ya?. Till we beat the "Biblical" QOS team on Boxing Day let, as the famous Norn Irn Commedian<dave Allen, say may ur God go with you. Mine's personal (Jeesus) and Depeche Mode'd. Cliftonville for the North Belast derby. See, you think you've a shit match to deal with, I've marital family commitmenys to deal with, Much love.

First of all check to ensure you're in a live Sky broadband area. If so then the broadband's only £7.50 a month versus minimum £17 a month with BT, line rental is £12.25 versus BT's £14.60 and unlimited UK, North Amearican, European, New Zealand and Australian call are a snip at £5 (not £10 as quoted earlier) a month. Otherwise evening (from 7pm) and weekend UK calls are free! I love the new Sky Go feature that's a freebie. Anywhere in the UK and Ireland I can watch my sports and general entertainment on my laptop (which is great as I have to travel frquently on business and hotel freeview is usually shit. Basically the savings you'll make by switching will pay for your telly package (either the Entertainment or Entertainment Plus packs). It's right that it takes a little longer to switch if you're looking to keep your same number. Me, I took the opportunity to get a new number and have a clearout of the people and orginizations that I didn't want to keep in touch with. The rest I emailed my new number to. So far working a treat, no more (fingers crossed "Had an accident in the past 3 years....." "Mis-sold PPI....." yawn calls. Good luck whatever you decide.

Who's going to be doing your sports/tv coverage. There's a mate of mine doing an all channel (Sky/ESPN/Al Jezeera/Canal,etc)deal with a motorised dish, digi box package for leass that £2000 for the first year then less in subsequent years. Also allows live Saturday 3pm games. If you're interested I can get him in touch with you if you give me a shout.

The SNP have more chance of a win, methinks!

Hey, man liked your quote about the Toploader tickets! think Toploader won that one because (to my knowledge) they haven't had their tracks killed on X Factor yet. 300-1, if only you could get BetFred to take that line on.

Anyone wanna buy the 2 tix I have for the Fri night? Face value £15 a piece, selling for £10 each. I'd rather be Dancing in the afternoon to the Jags against 'Ol Elvis Brownshoes on the Sat, been forced to babysit that night. Th en any chance of a wee chant of "We're dancing 'cos your team's shite?"

I remember the Section B being allowed through "our" City End gates in the 80's and the mentalness that would ensue at the back of the Shed once they put the fence up. Bring back those days and I think my kids' be less interested in Hollyoaks.

Thanks for the reply, missed out on that one then but now I know the secret will be looking 12 weeks into the future from now on when long journeys are required.