Sam Leitch Loyal

You might as well give Mr. Putin the tickets now.

Perhaps it was he the North Koreans launched into orbit.

Here's a game for all the family. Select ten famous people who you think will die during 2013 (unless, of course, the Mayans are correct). Nae changin' yer list unless they snuff it before the end of 2012. I'll think of a prize for the winner later on. My selection: Billy Graham (evangelist) Margaret Thatcher Stephen Hawking The Chooky Embra (Philip) Muhammed Ali Fidel Castro Hugo Chavez Aretha Franklin Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) Nelson Mandela

Who remembers when the Thistle was known as the Claredon Bar despite being on the corner of the ClareNdon Street? If you're down that way why not visit the Castle? (Answers on a very big postcard, please.)

If you like having your pint pulled by a glamorous blonde (ooh, err, missus) then it has to be the Woodside.

And look who their latest signing is: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20652118

Anyone who doesn't use sweatshops to produce their goods. So, that's A Durex Is Disposable After Sex ruled out.

I think I'm right in saying Forbes has never scored a penalty in senior football. He also missed one against Rangers (as they then were) late in a league game at Fir Park which cost Motherwell two points.

I've been talking to the bod at Dumbarton who deals with hospitality and he's taking bookings for the last game of the season. Cost is £49 per person but the more that want to go the cheaper it becomes. Details of what you get for your roubles and kopeks below. Who'd be up for it? I can sort things out so we'd all be together at the same table(s). * Match Entry to the Bet Butler Stadium (via Main door to stadium) * Access to Chivas Suite and Pay Bar * 3-Course pre-match meal with wine * Complimentary Team Sheet * Half-time buffet * Post match access to pay bar in Chivas Suite

Many Dynamo fans would agree with you.

Once Munn's re-opens as the Saville Arms you'll have no problemo.

I was watching (and loving) this game until the following happened. Don't read the second link if you're eating or squeamish. http://rt.com/sport/football/dynamo-zenit-fans-shunin-944/ http://rt.com/sport/football/shunin-dynamo-zenit-cracker-997/ So, if you are a member of the board of the Russian Premier League what decision would you press for? Replay? Award the points to Dynamo? But remember - Zenit are the plaything of Gazprom the fuel mega-giant whose money does a lot of things you wouldn't expect. PS: I've just realised I don't need my hip-flask anymore.

It was the Andy Lynch Loyal Motherwell Supporters Club that gave him the nickname - they reckoned every time a ball went into his box he was a Lightyear away from getting it.

Eraserhead. Teletubbies - the movie.

Nothing tastes as good as it was when yer mammy made it.

Is there anything stopping Smith being played as a trialist or is that not possible after he's actually signed?

Right up there with the guy who was recently cleared of assault with a black pudding. (Ecky thump!)

Humour in football? Nah, the Tories did away with that years ago.

Me too. I've got vouchers 7 & 9 but no number 8. (Twas my own fault, tipsy that I was.)

The Herald this morning reports that the Scottish government says it will bail out Hearts (nice phrase for a sinking ship) rather than let them go bust. Bet that's going down well Govan way. Flats, flats, glorious flats.....

I went to Tynecastle on a Wednesday night The Jam Tarts were there and they wanted a fight. The first stood in my way and wouldn't let me pass So I took out my razor and went "thistle, ya bass." And it's Partick Thistle....... The next one who faced me he was six foot four So I lifted my boot and he fell to the floor. He was rolling in agony, he was rolling in pain So I lifted my boot and I f*****d him again. And it's Partick Thistle...........

.....on the 95th anniversary of the Glorious Revolution.

Another sex-scandal has hit the BBC: Morph has been outed as a playdoughphile.

Having a seven-day-a-week city-centre location for buying was/is a fine thing. Perhaps a deal could be struck with Lumley's or the Sportsman's Emporium. Oh, wait.......

But are we sure it won't have changed?