spider jag Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Likewise - one of our old bosses (in IT) used to mess up his well-know phrases or sayings constantly to the point that one guy in work kept a list and anybody who heard the boss utter a new one at a meeting got it added to the list. Here are the first 20 in a list which reached 547 by the time he retired :- 1. Pie-eyed in the sky ideas. 2. Cartridges behind the knee. 3. Come along for a chatter. 4. Stop the heeing and hawing. 5. Just the luck of the mill. 6. Talked to me off the top of his cuff. 7. The cat slipped out of the bag. 8. Put him through his hoops. 9. There was a big muriel on the wall. 10. Allowed into the department with open arms. 11. Shirt tail hanging out her arse. 12. Just go in and air your vent. 13. ICL lurching in the background. 14. All's love in fair and war. 15. Just go on nilly willy. 16. He flew the handle. 17. Basking in the sands. 18. That will give them food for eating. 19. He was severely suspended. 20. He was hauled up before the coals. Aw christ, they're all belters but those are my faves. Was nearly Irn Bru all over the computer screen a few times there. Aaah :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 football managers and other assorted blithering sporting imbeciles who say "the lads gave 110/120/1000/a million percent effort today - couldn't ask for more" ... why the need to ask more if you really can't get more than 100% ? - aaaaaaaaarrrrrgghh! Totally agree 100% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thechangingman Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 people who say arthuritis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaggernaut Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 people who say arthuritis That's what King Kenny had every time it took him ages to make up his mind where his kick-out was going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodstock Jag Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Been hearing this one for years but..... people that say Ibrufen when they mean Ibuprofen. People that say spacific ocean really annoy me as well. Any others that annoy anyone? My mother does this, and it's definitely "Ibrufen" she says. I have a compulsion to correct her every time she says it but it's no use. I could care less. NO! It's I couldn't care less. If you say you could care less it means you must care to some extent! Although "I couldn't care less" is in itself a flawed statement, as if the person cares enough even to respond or express an opinion of no interest, they care more than if they summoned no effort whatsoever to express an opinion, thus they could, in fact, "care less" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackpool Jags Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 And as my mate's ma used to say about his excessive smoking: "You know you're gonnae wake up deid one day so ye are". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homerjag Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 People that put an S on the end of shop names. Asdas, Tescos etc. When they come up to the bar and ask for "Millers", "Pint of McCaffreys" "VSL" Although on perusing a whisky display, I did ask the barmaid if she had a Blackbush!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graemei Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 (edited) Having a good laugh at this thread. Worked with a few people that c*cked up sayings or even simple words that were easy. A guy who more than three times made an arse of saying 'cream of sum yung guy' and saying something like "yeah she wants some cream of sum yung ***" Another guy I worked with would look at words and then just say something completely different, even though it was glaringly obvious what the word was. Find it really annoying when you hear someone on the TV say "and now this afternoons matinee movie..." and we all know "matinee" is code for quite possibly one of the sh*ttest movies ever made and then you see the opening credits come on and you could just smash up the TV in a violent rage over just how god damn crap this film is! What is a matinee movie anyway! Edited July 24, 2010 by Graemei Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKennan Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Good excuse for a moan ... 1. 'Nuke-u-lar'. 2. 'Med-cine'. 3. 'Prop-ly'. 4. 'Kickaine' 5. Referring to Caley as 'the Jags'. And my pet aversion from Scotland: "Ah's li' aht" for "I said". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rid Skwerr Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Next batch (my favourites in bold) - 21. That's him all over the barrow. 22. Drive you round the twitch. 23. Horse drawn and quartered. 24. Hell's bells for leather. 25. Indated with work. 26. He's made a hot bed of nails for himself. 27. Does it in the heat of the movement. 28. Run under by a bus. 29. There are means and ways. 30. Falling abreast of the situation. 31. That's a load off your head. 32. Princess car is Wedgwood shaped. 33. Correct me if I'm right. 34. The ball's on your slates now. 35. Bobby,Spassky and Fisher. 36. One pound and thirty shillings in the old money. 37. See through him like a ton of bricks. 38. Back rear wheels. 39. They were all eating patio. 40. They were driving tail to tail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackpool Jags Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Next batch (my favourites in bold) - 21. That's him all over the barrow. 22. Drive you round the twitch. 23. Horse drawn and quartered. 24. Hell's bells for leather. 25. Indated with work. 26. He's made a hot bed of nails for himself. 27. Does it in the heat of the movement. 28. Run under by a bus. 29. There are means and ways. 30. Falling abreast of the situation. 31. That's a load off your head. 32. Princess car is Wedgwood shaped. 33. Correct me if I'm right. 34. The ball's on your slates now. 35. Bobby,Spassky and Fisher. 36. One pound and thirty shillings in the old money. 37. See through him like a ton of bricks. 38. Back rear wheels. 39. They were all eating patio. 40. They were driving tail to tail. Total quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alx Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 My top bug after a few weeks of lots of flights is people who stand on the travelators / walkways in airports. You're supposed to WALK not STAND IN MY WAY you ****** ******** ***** ****** ******* ***** tedious mo**** **** **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spider jag Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 (edited) Part fae the obvious - slow pedestrians and pavement blockers, which are my biggest ever pet peeves! - used to work in an office (honest, true story!!!), the head of the office when phoning people she knew at other offices would always say really loudly "Aye, I'm not three bad" Not quite sure why, but this used to drive me feckin NUTS!!! I used to get so angry! Mibbe just confined office spaces affect a persons sanity! :blink: PS Rid Skwerr - Hells Bells for Leather! Love it lol Sounds like a hevy metal nightmare Edited July 24, 2010 by spider jag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithrock Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 people who get bugged by shit that doesn't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spider jag Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 People who pretend nothing annoys them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B.C.G. JAG Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 People who always have to have the last word. Please close this thread now Admin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Osbourne snr Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 People who like to deal in "Pacific detail" in everything they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKennan Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 :angry: :angry: 1. Kissing the badge after scoring a goal. 2. The hands over the head clap when being substituted - especially when not even bothering to look at the fans. 3. Continental players - the prayer book plea with hunched shoulders in mock horror at being carded. 4. The 'shhhhhhhh!' gesture. Sorry, that just makes a player look a complete and utter tool. 5. The 'I can't hear you' gesture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uberteeb Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 People who do not let you get off the Subway before you get on it. This isn't much of a problem on the trains I use daily, I don't use the buses often but it never seems to be much of a problem on them but every day on the Subway some ********* will try and squeeze past me as I get off. In fact the subway does my tits in all round. The eratic service which is getting worse and worse, 12 minutes at some off peak times now. It is too small, I'm always hitting my coupon off the top of the doors. When 2 people stand side by side on the escalator at Partick and then look at you with disgust when you ask to get past, I've got a train to catch you cretin. When men with long legs take up the whole bloody aisle by sitting like ********* with their legs losely crossed and don't move them for people. I've got long legs but move them when people need past. For some reason the drivers always like to stop at Govan station for a period ranging from 2-5 minutes which does my nut in, especially when the guy with the litter picker boards and takes ages to pick everything up. The state of the seats, they often looked like they are wet when they aren't, I don't want to be sitting in wetness which could very well be tramps piss. People that faff about for ages at the ticket barriers. Then again a constant source of enjoyment is when you see someone lining up to go through the wrong barrier and they look get a shock and look like twats when they walk into the metal pole. And not Subway related but why is the woman at Partick always mopping/brushing the stairs between 8.15-8.45am. Might be an idea not to do this at the busiest time of the day ya daft old bint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernsoul Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 People who pay by card at rush hour time on the Subway. No problem if it isn't busy, but not at 8.45am, causing a que to build up. With normally 2/3 of the machine ticket machines not working at Hillhead, makes it even more frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rid Skwerr Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 Random apostrophes on simple plural nouns. For some reason, many people think that some plural word's need apostrophe's. F*ck know's whats going through their there mind's. Seen tonight on a fast-food joint at Blairdardie.... Pizza's Curries Kebab's Burgers Not even flamin' consistency.... and tonight's "Tony-isms" - 41. Now let's get this quite wrong. 42. I'm reading the report from page to cover. 43. Banging your head against a window. 44. Everything else goes by the second fiddle. 45. They'll be having a mickey. 46. Put my foot in it even if I have to put it in writing. 47. Two runs at the cherry. 48. There's no point in killing yourself to death. 49. Mental blockout. 50. Jumped in with two feet where angels fear to tread. 51. He's supposed to be here till the last straw. 52. We've reached the peak of the trough. 53. Just like Jimmy and Jewel. 54. Don't turn down a gift horse in the mouth. 55. If the ball fits you wear it. 56. I'm not going shouting my neck off. 57. Big eejit the ba' 58. Just let him stew in his own goose. 59. He'll be in here arguing and tossing. 60. Greg Beard. (not sure what or who No. 60 refers to) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graemei Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 People who do not let you get off the Subway before you get on it. This isn't much of a problem on the trains I use daily, I don't use the buses often but it never seems to be much of a problem on them but every day on the Subway some ********* will try and squeeze past me as I get off. This happens to me in lifts quite a lot as well. When trying to exit a lift with two heavy suitcases and some muppet is trying to get in there with you! Dual carriage roads, where you have the person in the inside lane going ridiculously slow and some utter f*cking c*nt is sitting level with them in the outside lane, not overtaking! So the big line of traffic behind them can't get passed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uberteeb Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 As if by magic I got to the subway platform just as one train left, 11 minutes for the next one and this was at 9.10am, what kind of peak time service is this? And of course we sat in Govan for 5 minutes while the old wumin driver had a blether to some other employee on the platform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulo Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 Heard a good one at work the other day. Someone is getting into trouble, and apparently my workmate thinks he's going to 'get his baws chinned' for this one. Doesn't sound that bad, considering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G Jag Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 Seen tonight on a fast-food joint at Blairdardie.... Pizza's Curries Kebab's Burgers Not even flamin' consistency.... and tonight's "Tony-isms" - 41. Now let's get this quite wrong. 42. I'm reading the report from page to cover. 43. Banging your head against a window. 44. Everything else goes by the second fiddle. 45. They'll be having a mickey. 46. Put my foot in it even if I have to put it in writing. 47. Two runs at the cherry. 48. There's no point in killing yourself to death. 49. Mental blockout. 50. Jumped in with two feet where angels fear to tread. 51. He's supposed to be here till the last straw. 52. We've reached the peak of the trough. 53. Just like Jimmy and Jewel. 54. Don't turn down a gift horse in the mouth. 55. If the ball fits you wear it. 56. I'm not going shouting my neck off. 57. Big eejit the ba' 58. Just let him stew in his own goose. 59. He'll be in here arguing and tossing. 60. Greg Beard. (not sure what or who No. 60 refers to) Brilliant. I'm getting strange looks in the office for laughing at these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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